Saturday, July 31, 2004
WARNING...going to speak my mind here...Emotions are volatile right now.
will I regret it later...Probably. But you cant blame me for expressing myself for what I am feeling right now.

I think my new name should be THIRD WHEEL/FIFTH WHEEL/THE USELESS WHEEL...Because that is how I feel whenever I am around my friends. I feel like whatever I have to say isn't that important or interesting and when I do say something I get criticized by it...Like when I was discussing my money situation and how I consolidated my loans it was said that I was sharing to much information. I can't help it if people ask me what is new in my life and that is what is exciting and new in my life at the time. Or if I say something was not right cuz a friend lied to me...And they just say "oh well, no harm came of it"...Well yeah...There was harm done cause you lied to me and tried to justify your actions instead of apologizing...Because yeah I was hurt because you lie made me look dumb infront of someone else who thought I was on crack because they didn't know what the heck I was talking about when I thought they would obviously would have known about had it been true.

Or when you want to help a friend out to do something good but they don't want your help because they want to take all the glory and recognition for doing something nice for that other person. Serving isn't suppose to be a selfish thing. It should be something that you can do with other people who are eager to serve too so that they too can bring glory to God. And should I mention the amount of back stabbing and gossip that goes on behind my back but ofcourse I always hear about it or reap the repercussions in the way that people act around me because they go by what the other "friend" told them about me.

I cant wait to get out of this town. Find some true friends that actually care and aren't so consumed with their own lives and drama.

This does not include Kristen by the way.

Or I will become a recluse and not have any friends and that way I wont be hurt all the time.

Any ways, life sucks. I was looking forward to having a nice long weekend but instead I get to mope at home and do nothing cuz I don't want to hang where I don't feel welcome or valued. You know it would be nice to be thanked once in a while for being someone's friend. I always thought I have done this by dropping little notes/treats off at friends houses or sharing scriptures and advice and offering to pray for friends...yadayadayada...Anyways...Peace out.
posted by Rachel at 11:06:00 PM -
Friday, July 23, 2004
Matti...yes your shoes are the cubby.  I came across them yesterday by accident.
posted by Rachel at 8:35:00 PM -
Friday, July 16, 2004
friday is here.  what a relief.  it still was a good week and i do have to work tomorrow but it's just nice that it is the weekend.
im doing more laundry.
didnt see kim today.  opa and oma took me out for dinner at frankie's restaurant.  i had a steak and battered shrimp.  i was very full after that.  i get so full that i can stick my stomach out, turn to the side, and look like i am 5 months pregnant.  im not, ofcourse.
im watching a biography on a&e on marilyn manson.
posted by Rachel at 10:21:00 PM -
Thursday, July 15, 2004
im domesticating tonite.  im doing the laundry...hey cool...Blogger has updated again.  I can change my fonts now.  oh, the possibilities.  there is even a spell checker...for anne.  i can even bullet and number...
  1. go to work tomorrow for 7-3:30...get to where jeans cuz its friday.
  2. come home and relax and bask in the fact the house is mine for the weekend.
  3. call kim
  4. hang with kim
  5. go home
  6. sleep
  7. gotta get up and work this saturday as my new position starts at wal-mart on sat.  im sure i will hate it as i just hate working there in general now.

i like bullets because:

  • they make the layout of a document/post visually appealing
  • the little dots are just so cute!
  • i feel like im really administrative using all the extra features provided.
  • i have a mosquito bite on my toe.

haha..this post is just bizarre, i know.

but for now, im done. i have to go.

my shower's calling, and then my bed,

so till tomorrow, unless im dead.



ps.  my cat is in heat and it is driving the whole family nuts!  i am going to have to get her fixed or i fear that Rob will put her out of her misery.  she's so loud with her moaning...meeeeeeooooowwwwwwww!

posted by Rachel at 9:10:00 PM -
Monday, July 12, 2004
:( so i didnt get my license today. im quite upset about it. i did everything well and my parallel parking was flawless. the only mistake i made was when i was making a right turn off of a main street on walkerton and there was a pedestrian at the corner in a motorized wheelchair waiting to cross the road. he was there aimlessly and i couldnt make eye contact so i figured it was ok to go, but they failed me for that. i thought it was ok because i didnt have astop sign or traffic lights...but oh well...i will get it next month on the 12th of august. an extra month to save up more money for a car.
posted by Rachel at 5:10:00 PM -
Friday, July 02, 2004
so they froze my bank account...because of that whole check i called them of montreal...and said what was up and explained the situation. they said they usually put 30 day holds on american checks and i said that i'm not the one who screwed things up and that the whole correction thing was done behind my back and that if it was done right the 30 day hold should be almost up by now...she put me on hold for about 10 minutes and then came back and said the hold would be taken off in about 3 minutes. everything is fine now. phew!
posted by Rachel at 4:53:00 PM -
Thursday, July 01, 2004
HAPPY CANADA DAY! what a beautiful day we had here in hanover. it was so warm. caitlin and i hung out for the better part of the afternoon at the hanover heritage square. it was awesome. there were so many people there. caitlin also got her belly button peirced and i got a new belly barbell. the first time i have changed it since i got it 11 years ago.
posted by Rachel at 9:53:00 PM -

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