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78 Ways to know if you drink too much coffee...
1 You answer the door before people knock.
2 Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
3 The only kitchen appliances you own are made by Mr. Coffee.
4 You ski uphill.
5 You get a tax cut for all the coffee you bought.
6 You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
7 You speed walk in your sleep.
8 You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."
9 You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
10 You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
11 You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
12 The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
13 You sleep with your eyes open.
14 When you open your dish cabinet, and there is only mugs.
15 You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
16 The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
17 You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
18 You lick your coffeepot clean.
19 You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
20 You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
21 You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
22 Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
23 Your coffee cake, must have coffee in it.
24 You chew on other people's fingernails.
25 Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
26 You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
27 You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
28 The only gift you get for Valentines Day you get chocolate covered beans.
29 You can jump-start your car without cables.
30 All your kids are named "Joe".
31 Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
32 You don't sweat, you percolate.
33 You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
34 You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
35 You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
36 You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
37 You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
38 Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
39 Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
40 You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
41 People get dizzy just watching you.
42 You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
43 The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
44 Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
45 You're so wired, you pick up AM radio and people test their batteries in your ears.
46 Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
47 Instant coffee takes too long.
48 When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
49 You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
50 You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
51 Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
52 Your hand is permanently shaped to hold your mug.
53 You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
54 You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
55 You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
56 You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
57 You get drunk just so you can sober up.
58 You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
59 Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
60 You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
61 You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
62 You can jump to the moon.
63 You short out motion detectors.
64 You have a conniption over spilled milk.
65 You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
66 Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
67 You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
68 You don't tan, you roast.
69 You don't get mad, you get steamed.
70 Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.
71 Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
72 You can't even remember your second cup.
73 You help your dog chase its tail.
74 You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
75 Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
76 You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
77 You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
78 Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup. |
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It's been a while...
Hmmm...lets see...
The other day I was wearing flip flops...now it is snowing again.
I cleaned my house today.
I worked from 6:30am till 8:15pm today.
I get to keep my apartment because the Rental Management did a no show at court so my case was dismissed.
I am seeing a new guy...Nick.
MCHAMMER has his own web journal...lol.
My sister Caitlin turned 17 this past Sunday. Happy Birthday Sis...cant wait to see you this weekend.
I thought my wallet got stolen today and then I remembered later that I put it in a weird spot so it wouldnt get stolen.
I let my dishes sit for almost a month...lol...good thing I pre-rinse everything.
That guy from my last post...Im not angry with him anymore...I just feel sorry for him...what's worse than that?
I miss my pals Kristen and Kim:(
Ha Ha! THIS IS ME!
CUTE
I finally got new tires for my car. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I still get hives.
The pleurisy and pnemonia are finally clearin up...uhg...what a rough month...this would be why my dishes sat for over a month...cuz i was just tooo sick to do anything...*sigh*.
The guy I am seeing is taking me to Red Lobster for dinner tommorrow nite...Im so excited.
I am in the process of planning out my patio container garden for this year...all vegetables baby.
YOU GROW GIRL!
YOU GROW GIRL-THE BOOK
Yeah for Canadian authors...she is from Toronto! Woot!
I played in my first real poker tournament last week...I did better than I had hoped.
I just ate a whole container of cottage cheese...mmmmmmmmmm.
I am addicted to Wendy's. I think they put crack in their food. Today is the first day in 2 weeks that I have not eaten there...but I dont even feel guilty for eating there everyday because I have finally gained some weight...only 2 pounds mind you...but it's a start.
I drink my water out of a martini glass...cuz whats the use of not using your good glassware...Life Is Too Short.
Good Nite...Im off to bed. |
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posted by Rachel at 
