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Did you know...
Did you know that for many, Christmas is not always a joyous time, not in the sense that we don't celebrate the birth of Christ, but there are many of us out there that just don't look forward to Christmas.
We attempt to make Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as much a normal day as possible.
We're not always thrilled about wrapping gifts, decorating the tree and putting on fancy meals for family and friends. Why?
Sometimes the loss of a loved one brings back too many memories of a much happier time. Often a particular Christmas carol can quickly put us in an emotional frame of mind as hundreds of pictures flash through our minds reliving events that took place some time ago.
For some, merely putting up a tree and decorating it brings back so many memories that we wish we hadn't put it up at all. Don't blame us. We are not against Christmas.
This is sometimes our way of dealing with painful memories. We try to put Christmas aside and carry on as if it were any other day.
For some they can get over a loss in a year, others it can take a number of years, and, for the unfortunate few, they may never get over the loss of a spouse, child or parent.
The mother of my children passed away in 1992. It took me approximately ten years to finally feel normal again, however, both my kids have a very difficult time with the Christmas festivities and a doctor friend of mine gave me the following personal quote to put it in perspective, "You are only ever as happy as your least happiest child." I now find myself in this situation.
More than anything, I wish that I could make Christmas for them the way it always was...but I can't. I can't make them happy and with that come some feelings of guilt and shortcoming.
I wish for my kids that I could be a good mother but, I'm only a good father.
Mothers have ways of making Christmas such an enjoyable time to look forward to. They have the knack of prettying up a Christmas tree and adorning the house with angel's hair, snow, tinsel and boughs of evergreen with red satin bows. They are adept at wrapping up gifts with colorful paper and fancy ribbons. The Christmas dinners that mothers put together are outstanding. They have a special touch.
Yet, these are some of life's real situations and we are still learning, healing, growing and attempting to bring back the joy at Christmas time, and the rest of the year.
We are not looking for sympathy, don't judge us, but allow us time to heal, however long that takes.
Merry Christmas. |
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posted by Rachel at