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Just thinking...
It must be such a blessing to have fellow family members like siblings to encourage each other in their faith. I feel like I have so little in regards to a Christian network and it often time leaves me feeling lost and out there all alone. I just wish the majority of my immediate family would choose to travel the same and true path that I have chosen and be more encouraging in my struggle to follow Christ.
I sometimes liken my life to either being on or off the wagon...sometimes I loose complete sight of Christ and start to retreat to my old ways of living for myself with no regard to other peoples feelings but my own...but when I do this I fail to see the consequensed in the future when I get back on the wagon again and put my focus on Christ. In reality I do myself great harm in being selfish because when I come back to God and lay it all at His feet again I am embarrassed by my behaviour of how I acted when I was living for myself.
Living for myself brings only misery....Living for God brings victory.
Just hope everyone can forgive me for my last crazy binge of living for myself. Self-control can be so difficult when you are feeling in the dumps and just want to die.
I am starting to come out of the fog a little bit. Continued prayers and support are greatly appreciated. Feel free to drop me lines and emails of encouragement so that I know I am loved regardless of my stupid actions. This is me asking for help from all of you instead of becoming more self-destructive. Something I am vowing to myself to do more often.
And to still be completely honest but in a kind and gentle way to others and to myself.
Cheers! |
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posted by Rachel at