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Isnt it funny? Isnt it funny how people sick back watching you flounder from afar, but the moment you get specific they put up their defenses.
Where were you a week ago...a month ago...a year ago?
Dad: You say you can always tell when I am having a rough time. How is it then that you are so content to just sit back and watch the madness unfold and not do anything? You want caring: Pick up the phone...drop me an email...let me know that you actually exist. Just show up unexpectantly and put your arms around me and give me a hug. I'm so sick of getting through life with only hearing or seeing of you 2-3 times a year. You're like those people who only go to church on special occasions and holidays.
Perhaps I am just pushing everyone away now, because I am so sick of this feeling empty and alone. Maybe my plans will actually come to fruition and I will leave and start off again never to be heard or seen of again by all of you. It sure is appealling. And dont say I am running away. I just need a fresh start to figure out who I really am. |
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posted by Rachel at