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Friday’s dust has become Saturday’s. It wasn’t suppose to end this way. Thick tar…sticking to the insides of my self.. Seeping throughout the silent recesses of my mind. Taking over…resting in every corner. Its toxins mingling with what is left of my soul. If I speak all that will come out is black. Look deep into my eyes and all you will see is darkness. Do you dare to trod and see what really is there? What no one else cares to see?
Do you think it is possible to consciously let go of this world and everything in it and just consciously die? Could I just lay here and forget it all…strip myself off of any attachments, peel of the layers of hurt, close my eyes and retreat to a better place never to return to this misery again? If it is possible what would they rule my death as? There are some people who just die and they have no medical reasoning’s to prove how they died. Did they just let go? What holds us here anyways?
I’m a fucking fashion super model. All you ever do is look at the surface and are content to not go any deeper than what you see on the outside. Well that’s fine because the surface betrays what is on the inside. But perhaps I am not doing such a good job of it lately. But that is ok if you turn your head and want to look the other way because you are repulsed by what you are beginning to see. |
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posted by Rachel at